Aphorisms of Tully Mars: October 2009

Day 13 – The Perfect Dumpling and Monkey Man

10/20/2009 04:47:00 PM Tully Mars

Our final day in China found us wanting to grab some of the many items we had bypassed earlier in the trip along with picking up a few gifts for friends and family. The China Town area seemed the best part of town to do the last day of shopping. We ended up sleeping in late with the maids knocking at our door wanting to clean our room at 8:25 followed almost immediately by a phone call from “the sisters”. We were suppose to call them at 8:00 to make meeting arrangements, but I did a great job of getting the blinds closed on our room so absolutely no light came thru the window. Opps!

We had a quick coffee and fruit platter breakfast in the downstairs lobby eatery while waiting for the girls to arrive at our hotel. Gigi and I had the same idea for lunch; our first visits to China Town we noticed this very long line of Chinese waiting for dumplings, so we figured if the locals are willing to wait in line for these things they must be good. We hit a couple of shops along the way and finally worked our way to the growing line. We must have waited 45-50 minutes in line for our turn at the window. Sean and I were the only ones interested in eating them so we split 48 one inch diameter dumplings filled with an unknown meatball for around $7 total and got completely stuffed. They were worth the long wait in line! Tricia tried one and said, “Well, they’re eatable but what’s the fuse?” I guess she was still having that uncontrollable urge.

We bargained and shopped the rest of the day away in China Town. All the girls ended up having either Sean or I help do the price negotiations on the stuff they purchased. The rule was simple, pick out what you want, discuss what you think it is worth, and then we would beat up the vendor to get it cheaper than what they wanted to pay. The one cardinal rule was, if either Sean or I thought it was a bad deal we had the authority to walk away. We usually got the price much lower than what the girls wanted to pay, sometimes as much as 1/3 of what they were willing to pay!

The bargaining was consistent with going to a used car dealership. Starting price is 4 or 5 times the final settling price and it was always fun getting to the final price. A couple times I walked from the deal to be scolded by Tricia saying she would pay “that price”; only to buy the very same knock off (cheap trinket) usually lower than the final price I tried earlier to settle on. Tricia has such a big heart she would pay the asking price less 10% or so because “they are so nice”. (Don’t tell her, but that’s why I love her so much – that big loving heart of hers.)

We had made plans to buy dinner for Joel and Junjun since all the family meals up to this point were paid by her family. Joel told us NOT to try and help pay for the bill with her family because it would be a show of disrespect. So we grudgingly abided the entire visit insisting on the final dinner with Joel and Junjun being our treat. They selected a local restaurant where we gathered for dinner.

Again grabbing two taxi’s, but with a better plan on how not to get separated we headed from China Town to the restaurant. Our taxi driver either had recently graduated from the NASCAR school for taxi’s or thought we were on the Amazing Race, because he was GOOD! The more we laughed at the cutting in and out of traffic with the accelerations matching those on an oval track, the faster and crazier his driving became. We literally screeched to a stop at the meeting spot (a KFC!) and we dumped out of the taxi a good 10 minutes ahead of the girls (it was only a 15 minute ride for us!) I broke the cardinal rule with Chinese taxi drivers and tipped the guy 5 Yuan or $0.80, knowing if Joel found out he would scold me – LOL.

While walking around the park next to the KFC we notice an old man with a monkey. If you dropped coins in his little bucket he would get the monkey to dance for you. It was his way of making a simple living with the tools that he had, so Sean and I dropped 2 Yuan in his can and got the show. One of the “sisters” saw it and did the same thing, except when she did it the monkey did not behave so the old man smacked it a couple times to get it to dance. This completely enraged her thinking it was cruelty to animals and walked away. It’s interesting how we can visit another country and because we are there as tourist these guys show up to carve out what we would consider a substandard living. At the same time we judge with prejudice the manner in which or the way they go about their lives. (Just a thought you can ponder on!)

We had a relaxing dinner with the newlyweds with more gifts being given to the sisters from Junjun’s mother and for both Shirley and Sandy (the sister’s mother and step-mother) back in the states. I’m sure they will be grateful for the very nice gifts, we just don’t know how we are going to get all this STUFF back to the states. Tricia purchased a large purse big enough to hide a full size tank inside, so I felt confident we could at least get Shirley’s and Jenny’s (the one missing sister) gifts back home along with our junk. It would just be heavy to carry! (I hope we don’t have any issues with Customs Declarations!)

Remember in China there is no PDA; well “the sisters” are a hugging family and they were not going to say goodbye without squeezing everyone including Junjun. She took it well, but you could see a little apprehension in her body language. It will be a complete culture shock for her when she comes to the states next year and she meets the entire “Adams Family” (as I so effectionately call them). They will literally squeeze the Chinese right out of this young girl – LOL. After saying our final goodbyes and distributing hugges all around, we grabbed another taxi to our hotel.

Stay tuned for some final thoughts and notes on our trip after we get settled back into our daily “American” lives and Tricia has gotten her fill of Mexican food – LOL!

Steaming dumplings - yummy!

Now look who's the emperior!

Chinese OSHA approved scaffolding - LOL

My dancer partner for one of the many performance artist at China Town (I saw her dancing around while a young lady was singing in the plaza, so I joined her. Everyone around, including her and I, laughed as we dance a little jig to the Chinese song. She never spoke a word to me, but she laughed and danced - what more did she need to say?)

The last dinner with Junjun before we headed home.

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Day 12 – In Search of Hooters and the Statue Molestation Incident

10/20/2009 03:52:00 PM Tully Mars

The taxi drivers are really fun, if you are into the daring of putting your life in someone else’s hands while cutting thru the heaviest traffic we’ve ever experienced at break neck speeds! The taxi’s all have advertising on them and Sean and I immediately noticed the first day we arrived an advertisement for Hooters on one of the cabs. So we insisted on finding the Shanghai Hooters for our lunch stop of the day.

After PAYING to get on the internet, (the reason updates stopped when we got into Shanghai) we did a quick search for the Shanghai Hooters, found the address and had one of the hotel staff translate it into Mandarin so we could give it to the driver. A quick 20 minute ride and $3 later, we arrive at another shopping district with tall buildings and the Hooter’s sign is quickly seen. The food is just the same as it is in the states, except the Buffalo Shrimp are much bigger in Shanghai. We both got our requisite photos taken with the “Hooters Girls” and headed out for more milling around and shopping.

As we were taking in the sites, Sean and I noticed Tricia had fallen back a little. When we turned to see if she had ducked into another shop AGAIN, we were shocked to see a local statue had captured her and was in the process of molesting my wife! She was total surprised that this bronze statue had the mobility to jump right out in front of her to “make the grab”. There seemed to be statues at all of the shopping areas and this one was posed just right to make the photograph. I wonder how many similar photos have been taken from this very same spot. (Remember that in China it is socially unacceptable to PDA … public display of affection – Now you know how quickly we had to make this shot.)

After our lunch shopping we flagged another taxi and got dropped off at the other end of Nanjing Lu shopping road and walked the entire 7 kilometers back to the hotel. I cannot see any effects of a “bad economy” with the hoards of shoppers and tourists walking not only in the tourist areas, but in the local shopping spots. Some form of capitalism is flourishing in China today, but I am unsure what type system they are creating. The prices on goods in these “nicer” spots are only slightly lower than in the states, however if you are creative and diligent you can find deals.

For dinner Tricia and I ended up walking back over to Nanjing Lu (the big shopping street in Shanghai) and got to watch a sax player knock out a great tune; followed by a noodle dinner at Ajsiegn Ramen. We took Sean a “to go” box or bowl and he scarfed down the dinner when we got back. All in all a pretty easy day as compared to the ones prior.

These candy counters were everywhere

The "money shot" - LOL

Every building had one just like this!

Another temple that we threatened Sean with - we didn't hit it

Who's controlling this kid?

And now he gets a spanking for that!

The cheapest dinner yet! (except for all those free ones)

Sax Player on Nanjing Road from Tracy Castell on Vimeo.

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Day 11 – Family Lunch

10/20/2009 03:43:00 PM Tully Mars

The events planned for today were pretty light. Simply meet everyone for lunch and have a good afternoon shopping for Chinese gifts and knick knacks. So we slowly got around at our hotel and grabbed a cab over to “the sister’s” place, then walked to Joel and Junjun’s place to meet up with everyone. We were greeted by the neighborhood guard dog who was really more interested in sleeping on the job than he was in guarding the building. It was funny to see him sitting up with his eyes closed while weaving back and forth like a small child who is asleep while standing.

We all got together and headed over to a local restaurant where Joel and Junjun ate with us. At lunch the day of the wedding Joel and Junjun ate at her families table, while the “crazy Americans” had our lunch at our own table. This time they joined us representing that she was now part of our family instead of her own family. Her family came over to our table twice to toast to our good health, fortune and the couple’s future. We toasted them once, honoring the newly formed relationship and including Junjun into our family.

During lunch both Joel and Junjun had to provide cigarettes to everyone at their table and a game ensued during the lighting of each stick. Apparently they have to light their host’s cigarette while other family members try to blow out the light. At one point Sean jumped up and helped blow out the lighter, to which everyone in the room cheered and laughed. Finally they reached her father who is just as tall as Sean and they had fun trying to get his lit while her mother kept blowing out the lighter. When it was her mother’s turn, she insisted that Joel not only give her the cigarette, but to place two in her mouth and they each had to light them together. We are not sure what that represented, but it was really funny to watch. No one offered us any cigarettes, so it must only be for the bride’s family.

After another amazing lunch were the food never seemed to stop coming, we broke up and went our separate ways. Joel and Junjun apparently had more ceremonial duties like getting drunk or other stuff that afternoon, so “the sisters” with Sean and I in tow when shopping. It really wasn’t that bad, because we had to get two cabs to take us over to “China Town” and we got separated from the others. We never did get connected again because of poor planning on our part regarding the meeting point. So Sean, Tricia and I did our own thing and then headed back to the hotel after hitting some shops.

Tricia expressed the uncontrollable desire not to have Chinese food for dinner. Sean and I were caught completely off guard by this comment and argued for about 10 seconds, then gave into her craving. On the first day of the organized Shanghai tour, they dumped us off in the western style shopping center and Tricia remembered there were several restaurants in the center. We go to enjoy Chinese style Italian food with our usual Pijio and soft drinks. We are becoming acutely aware that with every meal except breakfast it is S.O.P. to enjoy a local brew and we have taken full advantage of this procedure.

Live poultry sold along the street and instantly "dressed" for dinner at your request

Joel trying to get "Dad's" lit with an aunt ready to blow out the flame

She's already in control!!!

Recharging after lunch for the upcoming shopping spree

China Town in Shanghai

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Day 10 – The Wedding

10/20/2009 03:13:00 PM Tully Mars

Sean was totally excited about his role as Best Man and a little unsure about what exactly his duties were going to be, which added to the thrill none the less. We meet “the sisters” at their hotel at 9:00 am and then walked over to Joel and Junjun’s home to be introduced to the new extended family. Joel and Junjun live above her parents in a newly renovated apartment that they all just purchased about a month ago. It was really nice and tidy, but very small by American standards. All four of them live together in about 900 square feet on the top floor (10th) in the Dao Hua District or neighborhood. It is a gated apartment complex with around 10 or 12 buildings of the same structure.

The introduction was not as formal as I expected with their family; we were greeted by Junjun’s father and mother at the door and seated in the living room. Joel came down and sat with us while the family scurried around getting ready for the day’s activities. The sisters had already been introduced and the three of us just made the group bigger. As we sat and chat with Joel, people kept appearing at the door and the 300 square feet we were in kept getting smaller and smaller. The videographer was already present when we arrived and the photographer followed after us, with a scolding from the videographer for apparently being late. (Listening to them fight and have fast discussions is pretty funny.)

We kept getting glimpses of Junjun in her “first” dress of the day as her bride’s maid moved in and out of the room. Tricia and I agreed that she is the most stunning woman we have seen in China so far and we are proud of Joel’s luck in landing her as his bride. You could see Joel’s pride beaming from him as we asked about his new family and future bride. He really is in his own element here in China; in fact a friend of his that sat next to us at the wedding said that he is more Chinese than he is American. (Tricia made comments at the beginning of the trip, saying she understands her brother more and his unique mannerisms by seeing those same gestures and habits here in China.)

Junjun wanted a more modern rather than an older traditional wedding, which meant that she would be wearing more western type wedding dresses during the ceremony. Yes, you are reading that correctly, dresses – plural! In total, she has three wedding dresses and one outfit for after the ceremony. We snuck a look with Joel at them all as she was getting ready.

After about an hour and a half, we were told to get ready and get out of the house! All of us headed down stairs to the courtyard area where the wedding car arrived and our car arrived. Junjun’s father, uncle and other men of the family had fireworks all set up in the courtyard ready to go off upon our formal arrival in the vehicles. So we all piled in the cars; Joel and Sean in the wedding car with us in trail in our car. We circled the courtyard and when we arrived at the building they set off the fireworks. The longest string was about 15 feet long and they lit off “big bangers” while the string was blasting away. It was the announcement of our arrival at the bride’s house.

Joel lead us up the elevator to their apartment where upon her family would not let Joel in the door until he begged, pleaded, and ended up singing some song thus earning the families respect or just getting harassed by her cousins and aunts. Once inside, Joel had to convenience Junjun to let him the room with more harassment and singing. He went down on one knee and held her hand to ask Junjun to come with him to be married. We all moved into the living room for the formal tea ceremony.

Joel and Junjun served tea to her parents and received their wedding gifts from them. In China, wedding gifts are not really gifts at all, but red envelopes with money for the bride and groom. The red envelopes have the symbols for double luck on them along with other wedding script and drawings. The amount of money is important too; it should be in increments of 8 or 9, for example $99 or $888. Both of these are considered lucky numbers, with avoidance of increments of 4 which is really bad because the pronunciation of the number 4 is close to the word death.

As the eldest family members here in China, Julie and Gigi were served tea for the groom’s family and exchanged the family’s gift to the bride and groom. After the tea ceremony, Sean served Junjun and Joel a cup of traditional wedding soup. The soup had dates and a large egg on top; and the first spoonful of dates both the bride and groom had to spit the seeds into a red envelope and keep it with them. The more seeds they could spite into the envelope from the one spoon represented the amount of money they would receive in gifts.

With the formal “tea ceremony” concluded, the entire group headed down stairs to the wedding car and family transportation to the restaurant. In China, couples must obtain permission from the government to marry and this process can be time consuming. Technically speaking, Joel and Junjun have been married for about 3 months prior to the event. So this ceremony really is a “coming out” party of sorts with no real religious rite or formal procedure, especially since the Chinese government has opened up the “freedom of religion” and most young adults in urban cities do not subscribe to any religion. What drives the ceremony is mostly tradition and the couples wants or wishes to proclaim their love in a public way.

As the wedding procession left the apartment complex it was accompanied by another round of fireworks from the men. We all took lots of photographs along with the professional team, especially when Joel had to carry Junjun from the doorway to the car. The wedding party headed off for another round of photographs at locations unknown to us and our drive took us back to our hotel for “the sister’s” clothing change. All the girls had to change from their nice dresses to formal wedding attire! (Don’t ask me because we noticed no one else did it, but they had too!)

Arriving at the restaurant, we were told to be early so “the sisters” could help set up the wedding tokens and guest gifts at the tables. Everything was quickly done and readied for the wedding, so Tricia and I explored the restaurant. The party was set up in one of the main dining areas so all of the other patrons coming for dinner could also see the wedding. Behind the main area was what I describe as the “dinner selection room” where all of their dishes were laid out for your selection. A waiter or waitress would follow you around as you viewed all the different choices, wrote down your selections and then seated you and your party for dinner. This was a seafood restaurant and they had every manner of seafood from crabs and fish, to squid and octopus, to clams and scallops. Everything looked absolutely delicious and I of course wanted to try everything!

Back to the wedding, all the “crazy Americans” were seated right beside the wedding table and up front for the best viewing. We were joined by one of Joel’s soccer friends who spoke perfect English, thus Mack became our translator for the evening. I’m not sure if Joel did that on purpose or not, but he really helped us understand some of what unfolded in front of us. The ceremony was broken into 3 sections and each had its own special meaning or purpose.

The first was what you might consider a western wedding without the religious twist or priest running things. They had a master of ceremonies who ran everything including the programmed music (the Theme to Star Wars started things off) and the direction of the lighting. By this time my camera battery was dead and I started taking pictures with Julie’s camera (one of “the sisters”), so photos will be posted later of the ceremony. During this part of the ceremony they exchanged rings, which first had to be found in a block of ice. Yeap, they froze the wedding rings in ice carved like a pig and Joel had to take a big hammer and break up the ice to find the rings.

After Junjun changed into her second dress for the evening, the next phase of the wedding took place. Joel and Junjun honored her parents and Julie & Gigi with formal toasts at their respective tables. Sean followed with the wine as they went around to all the tables toasting all the guests that had come to the wedding. There was some ceremony of which we are not sure what was said but Joel and Junjun ended up cutting the wedding cake and toasting with Champaign. At this point Mack, our friendly interpreter has “hitting the sauce” pretty good and he and I were having fun making comments about Joel and others at the wedding. Turns out Mack is a pretty funny guy especially after getting some drinks down!

The third part of the wedding started off the funniest! Junjun of course had changed into another gorgeous dress and Joel had donned a pig mask. He was carrying Junjun on his back, back into the party while spouting off something that must have been just a funny as his outfit, because everyone was laughing at him. There is a story about a monk who lost his way and was turned ugly (like a pig) and once he found true love, he got to marry the prettiest girl in the village. So he had to carry the pretty girl thru the village showing his love a dedication to her before their wedding, and of course once they were married the ugly monk was transformed into a handsome young man.

Also during this portion of the wedding, Joel had to present Junjun with a “surprise” gift. For days before the wedding he racked his brain trying to figure out what he was going to give her. When “the sisters” arrived they helped him with his decision and worked out a deal to get her a new poodle puppy. When we were dropped off at the hotel, they made arrangements to meet the delivery person with the puppy and we had to bring the dog to the ceremony. Up to this point the dog either was under our table in the carrier or in Tricia’s lap. It kept yapping every once in a while and Tricia would put the thing in her lap to keep it quiet.

The “real” surprise of this gift was to the parents! Remember that they live above her parents in a small apartment and Joel did not discuss any of this with them prior to getting the puppy. The real good photographs were of her mother’s face and the look on her father’s was simply priceless. I would have snapped their picture, except I think it would have been considered “bad form” to get their reaction opposed to Junjun’s smiling face after receiving the puppy. I guess they will have to work out this family arrangement at a later time. (ROFL)

During all of this the food literally kept coming and coming. There were 7 of us seated at our table for 10 and after the 7th dish we were all full. In total I counted 13 dishes on our table, all incredibly good to eat and with some interesting ingredients to say the least. Put it this way, they waste no parts of an animal when preparing food. I think the last dish (you know the one right before the watermelon) only Mack and I tasted from. We noticed other guests stashing food to take home after the wedding and had to laugh at that one. We’ve been to lots of weddings and this one really ups everything we have ever been to with the food and the fun.

After the last part of the ceremony, Junjun made one more clothing change into an outfit I liked the best. The top was a more traditional Chinese red blouse with black pants and red flares running vertically down from the knee. I can’t wait to post pictures of this one so everyone can see what I mean. Sean really liked the second dress and I think Tricia was partial to the third. So she really hit it for all of us!

The evening came to a close around 10:00 and we ended up back at our hotel around midnight. We were told to sleep off our hang-overs and meet them in the morning around 11:00 for the family lunch.

Sean jumping on the marital bed

Joel getting ready for the "big day"

The bed ready for the "evening's festivities"

The "crazy American" family

Joel's so proud!

A proud mother and the best man

What a car!

The final begging of the day

Final result of all that begging

More pictures to come

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Day 9 – The Last Day of Organization and the Beginning of Indecisive Stagnation

10/20/2009 02:50:00 PM Tully Mars

We begin our Shanghai experience by being taken to the Bund for a nice stroll along the financial center of China only to realize the entire walk is under construction for the upcoming 2010 World Expo. The walkway along the river and the Bund so famous in pictures is now being changed and cannot be accessed. This is the first time, I have been disappointed and honestly a little ticked off with the tour. They knew the construction was active and yet they kept this as part of the tour package. We stopped along the one of the river crossings and walked a short distance to take a couple pictures of the famous TV tower and the tallest building in China. A total of thirty minutes was the entire Bund tour and a huge anticlimax to the end of what has been so far a nice tour.

We ended up killing time at a local “western” shopping center (which knowing about comes in handy later on in our visit). While heading over to the area, we have our first day of “blue sky” weather and Tricia promised a friend that we would take lots of photographs of the unique architectural buildings. She is an architect and appreciates the various building structures, so we used this opportunity to fulfill a friend’s request.

Lunch time was spent at a silk rug factory where we got to see some really cool and VERY expensive Chinese rugs. Tricia’s mom loves this type of stuff, so we took lots of photographs of the processes. Sean and I even did a video of a 2’ x 3’ $3,000 rug, showing how it refracts the light and changes shades depending on the angle that the light hits it. It was all very interesting and especially learning that some of those rugs take as much as 10 months to make by hand. They do not have equipment or machinery to perform this work, so all the rugs are hand made by artisans.

The afternoon was really cool as we spent our time in the Shanghai Museum looking over Chinese silk art, calligraphy, bronzes, ceramics, seals, furniture, currencies and sculptures. Sean just loved it! Can you hear the sarcasm in my writing? He did however provide lots of entertaining comments about what exactly the calligraphy meant or how it translated to English. It’s always an adventure traveling with the boys, because they bring their own brand of fun and entertainment along for the ride.

We skipped the rest of the tour because Tricia was getting worried about finding out exactly where everyone else was and getting the scope on the timing for meeting for the wedding. So we left our guide and the rest of the group around 5:30 saying our good-byes and honestly starting to miss our newly formed friendships we’ve created during the trip. Everyone exchanged emails so we can get back in touch with our new traveling friends.

Now began the second phase of our adventure – the fun family experiences. Sitting around in our hotel room until about 7:45 waiting for another phone call from “the sisters”, we got some needed rest and updates from the internet. Since we paid extra for the access to the internet, we were going to use the heck out of it at every opportunity! We all took turns checking on things that needed to be checked out and trying to get updates from the states.

Finally the phone rang and we found out where to meet everyone for a late dinner at Pizza Hut – LOL! We hooked up with family on Nanjing Lu, a famous shopping strip in Shanghai and a “must see” for all tourist who come here. Sean again did his sticker thing and we got the photograph. My guess is 30 minutes after he put it up the sticker was removed by someone and the shopping area restored to its perfection. Dessert was at the now famous, Hagen Das Ice Cream parlor where Sean and I split a “sushi” ice cream dish for roughly $10.